I got a letter!!!!

I got a letter from Garrett today!  I filled my heart with so much happiness!  It seemed to ease the pain of missing him for a little bit.  I wish they could email everyday....I think this would help ease the separation a little bit.  Maybe start out email daily, then start skipping a day here and then, and then skip a couple of days, and keep building on it until you are down to your weekly email.  Seriously, I think this would help so many moms out and their son or daughter.  It is that lack of communication that seems to hurt so bad.  Okay, it is just all of it that hurts, just missing him hurts.

I still cry, maybe not quite as much, but I still cry.  I can't say that the pain is gone, because it isn't.  I find that when I am busy, like people have said, you aren't dwelling on what is missing.  This is so true.  It is hard to be home right now.  I can walk into his room okay, but it is just being home in general that is hard.  I keep waiting for Garrett to walk in the door around 5 or later, just because that is when he would get off work.

I know this is what he needed.  There were many days I would look at him while he was home and think, "You need something to help you mature." Well, I guess he has found that something.  Really, I am happy about this.  But right now, I am just sad that he is not here with the family.  

I find that when I think ahead two years, it really gets to me.  Seriously, to the point that I could probably give myself an anxiety attack.  I find that when I go to places he loved to go to or some of the last places we visited together, I feel the same way.  I have to take a deep breath and just keep moving.  I have to look past what was and look at the present.  It is such a weird feeling to feel like this because this is not who I am.
I know this won't last, but it is hard to tell myself that at times.  But that letter I received, it was awesome!  It really does help lift the soul to when they communicate.  It really does bring joy to you to read their words.  I just need more letters, is that too much to ask?  I would love to have a letter daily...I will even go for every few days!  I think that is doable, right?  I think mothers need that sort of communication with their child...I think they need constant reassurance that their child is doing well, feeling okay, and just to say hi!  But for now, I guess I will have to learn how to make do with the once a week letter.